Lessons I've learnt as: an accidental 'actor'
Updated: Aug 12, 2019
I've always wanted to make movies, and like half the world, I dreamed of starring in them, so much so that throughout my childhood, I would write my "goals" across pages and pages of notebooks, the common denominators being: 'Win a Best Actress Oscar,' 'Write an epic story,' 'Make an oscar-worthy film,' 'Meet Peter Jackson.' Although, now, I'd say only one of those has changed. (Can you guess which one?)
By the time I "grew up" a little more and explored more of the creative, development and 'behind the scenes' of filmmaking, and storytelling, the goal to "be an actress" has pretty much (almost) disappeared. I still love performing, doing character sketches, accents, and I am obsessed with the acting in films, but no longer is it my goal. Far from it.
So, when I was given the opportunity to star in a feature film, one that I co-wrote, it was technically, a dream come true. And, I was more than happy to agree - it would be fun, a new experience, and why the hell not!? I wanted to get this film made, and if there's a role that I can fulfil to make that reality more achievable, then I'll do it! I just needed to learn the lines, rehearse, work out who exactly my character was, her intentions, and so on and so on...And this in itself was hugely developmental for me as a writer - I need to get inside my character's heads, understand them as fully real beings, in order to understand what the story/film is trying to say. So far, it was a pretty ideal situation for me to find myself in. And it certainly felt surreal, starring in a film and engaging in a very hands-on, practical filmmaking experience with some great friends.
As time drew nearer towards shooting, I was still thinking of it as just that - surreal. And then it hit me. Oh shit, you're going to have to actually act Angel. In front of a camera.