‘A long distance relationship’ with my self. One year later in the time of covid-19
It's been a year since the UK experienced our first covid-19 lockdown. And one year since I ran outside with my phone in one hand and my partner Tom's hand in the other, with the intention to "make some film response to lockdown". The shoot took approximately 15 minutes, by which point we were cold and most likely hungry. I skipped home, smashed it together on premiere pro, titled it 'A long distance relationship' (so original) and put it to some royalty-free "french music" for comedic effect. I then, played it back. Decided it was a "crap, pointless waste of time" and never looked at it again.
Until now. One year on.
One year on, in the time of covid-19, and I'm a different person (along with everybody else.) Now, rewatching the 1-minute wonder, my judgements are still very much the same - it hasn't suddenly become a worthy masterpiece by collecting dust. I am, however, judging it with a new perspective. I'd say it's still crap, but it's too little of a thing to be deemed as crap - what am I judging it next to? It's not a short film. It's just a...visual response. And it certainly wasn't pointless. Because now, this 1-minute sketch, serves as part of a collection of pieces that make up the last year. A year that is still undefinable; in process. A year to go down in history. But my personal year will not go down in the history books. Why would it? It will just be a thing that exists solely in my mind, changing and morphing into variations and forms that I can't predict, but will occasionally look back on with new insights, perspective, lessons learnt and so on. Then one day, it will cease to exist as my body becomes worm food and my mind just something I lived in for the years I'm lucky enough to grace this earth.
So, while I'm alive, then, I might as well make and question and explore what it means to experience life in this body. In this moment in time. And in this case, it means making this visual piece -- no pressure, no intention of greatness or aesthetic wonder. I debated about whether to even bother posting about it, and succumbing to my usual response of "failed attempts" of either binning them or forgetting them. But the last year has been a monumental one. I like looking at these two people, back then, who had no idea what the next year would hold, with my eyes now. They seem so naive. Younger (well, duh). I wish could go back and tell them a few things, probably along the lines of, "settle in" and "get a hair cut when you can" and..."be patient. trust. you're okay. you're lucky" ...although, my pre-corona-time self would most likely have not listened. And in one year's time from here, I wonder what I'll be wishing I could say to my self now.
Probably something along the lines of, "Keep going. Don't give up. You're still lucky."
You can watch the 1-minute wonder below.